Anyone for lunch?

One chicken thigh and leg; de-boned, skinned, and chopped up makes a great salad, especially if you add red seedless grapes, chopped celery, grape tomatoes, a little honey mustard, a tablespoon of Miracle Whip Lite, and curry.

How about a whole bag of organic steamed veggies on the other side of the plate? That is 310 calories on a big plate and includes a tablespoon of butter! Now I ask you, how can you be hungry after this for lunch? Hmmmmmm?

What does a size 16 look like?

All the women above used a sewing pattern that was a size 16, for the slacks they are wearing. 

Size 16 seems to come in all shapes that don't look quite the same!

How can you feel good about yourself if you are not a model size 2? An article I glanced at had the subject line:

"Look Gorgeous Even With Size 16 Jeans".  

EVEN with size 16? What? Is size 16 normally an ugly size? 

What does size 16 look like?

 Oh how flattering this is! (insert sarcasm)
That size 16 model is so NOT pretty!

Here is a size 16 model that does a lot of work for Lane Bryant:

Her name is Ashley Graham and she's 22,  5' 9" tall. 

Her measurements are reported to be 36-34-47. 

By the way, her bra size is a 38D.

Here is another size 16 woman, although she is not a model:

She is 57, 5' 9" tall and her measurements are reported to be 40-37-43. 

Although she wore a D cup when she was in her 20's, 

somehow it measures as an A cup now. (38A-40A)

Let this be a lesson to you...if you are younger and have weight to lose, either lose it while you are still young so your skin shrinks back or save a lot of money so you can get plastic surgery to remove it later!

I am sure you've guessed that the photos of the 57 year old are mine. This is why it is hard for me to grasp that I am a size 16 and only considered to be overweight a bit. I "see" a huge belly and think I am still obese. My intellectual brain says differently. Someday I hope the two catch up to each other!

See the scar above my belly button? That is what stomach stapling surgery did to you 30 years ago.
I hear that the modern day version of this surgery leaves smaller scars now, but I would still never recommend the surgery.

Sometimes I AM allowing myself to catch a glimpse of what others see. This woman below, with her dog, doesn't look as huge as her brain sometimes wants to tell her she is. 

She actually doesn't look half bad for an old lady. 

I will enjoy my size 16. I will have to hunt a bit more, than some might, for the right clothes to hide the loose skin because I cannot afford plastic surgery, but that is ok. Being a size 16 is pretty cool and with the right clothes, you might even say a little sexy. Maybe spicy? Ah heck, I'll take being a nice woman who has a neat dog named Ziva!

Walk-On!!!

Can you keep a secret?

Shhhhhhhhhh....don't tell anyone or we might jinx this. After a week of eating more, my weight was down 1.8 this week. Now this could be just that same swing that has been going on since April OR it just might be the start of something good. I shall keep you posted...of course!

Can't wait to hit the trail tomorrow morning! Upper 50's and sunshine make for perfect walkin' weather. See you there!

Walk-on

Freaky Friday

Do I write about how the furnace service man said that I looked so good and SO healthy for having lost so much weight? He's used to seeing folks look sickly when they've lost a lot of weight.

Do I write about the neighbor's adult daughter who marvels at my weight loss and asks me every time how I did it. I tell her it is a lifestyle thing of good eating, and staying active. She looks down and says she is on the HCG diet again. Then hands me the banana pudding her mother, our neighbor, made. "I can't eat this on the HCG diet" she explains. She is still looking for her magic pill. (I had a spoonful of the pudding and it was soooooooo good! The child had some for dessert for the next couple nights and I had a spoonful again too!)

Do I write about being interviewed by the Fit 2 Live organization today? Yup, little ol' me was videotaped earlier today. I was talking about the trail I go walking on, the weight training I've started, and my overall journey of weight loss and learning now to live better. And I may have impressed them a bit. They mentioned the possibility of me speaking to some local groups about my experiences.

Maybe I should mention that I am still eating a lot more food and that tomorrow will be one full week of doing so. What will that blasted scale say? Can what I have preached all these past months really be real? Eat more....weigh less? Really? Really?

I think I won't write about anything tonight. I am happily exhausted from a very busy, exciting, crazy day! I have class to lead tomorrow and I need to get some sleep.

Things are a-happening in my life that are..... well they are downright un-freakin-believable!

Happy last day of Summer everyone! See you on the trails and yes, I promise to report the good, bad, or ugly results of the demon scale, tomorrow!

Walk-On!

Train Smarter, Not Harder

That is my message of the day. Lots of little things have been going on this past week. After a surprise drop in weight last week, I gained five pounds when I got on the scale, five days later. Was I bummed? No, I was downright depressed. And it hasn't gotten better. I am still down in the dumps about it. In reading about what to do I came across that phrase to "train smarter, not harder". Eat more, exercise less, be smarter, not harder on yourself. Really.

I saw my doctor for my annual checkup and although it went well, a test was forgotten and I have to go back...and pay another co-pay to have it done. (grumble) However, he was impressed that I had lost 31 more pounds since he saw me last.  And the nurse practitioner kept looking at my chart as we talked and then when I said I had lost 100 pounds total, she said "THAT explains it!" She thought she had the wrong chart because it did not match the weight of the person sitting in front of her! Ok, so that was kinda good.

I was nominated to become my quilting guild's 1st Vice President. I am already their Newsletter Editor and Web Master. I needed to add more to my life, right? Ok, so it is kinda cool to be asked and they promised it would only be when the President can't be there, that I would have to step in and that otherwise it would be an easy peasy job. We shall see.

Thursday I was solo at the support group as my co-teacher had another thing he had to do. We cover for each other when needed and I do not mind that at all. However, on Thursday afternoon, I had my weight training class too. I feel a bit stressed and stretched, so I think I will need to give up the Thursday morning support group until the weight training classes end in January. I am both sad and relieved about this decision.

The numbers are coming in from the tests I had at the checkup and my vitamin D level was way down again. I need to get a supplement. You'd think I got enough sunshine from my walking, but evidently I don't. I also will be seeing a specialist about my finger joint issues. It would be nice to get some pain relief! They want to ultrasound my kidney to check for something else and I need to have the boob squishing test done too. sigh....it is so challenging to be female sometimes!

Thursday my weight was up five pounds from Saturday. Why? In checking online and contacting someone about it, it seems I might now not be eating enough. I know, I preach that all the time. Well, it has come home to me here. So for the next few weeks I am upping my calories by about 500 more per day! Yes, you read that right. 500. I refuse to enter my weight from Thursday on my chart at the top of this blog. Besides, it was Thursday's weight, not the 'official' Saturday weight.

I found out that a local group wants to use a quote of mine in their book about getting our city healthier. They also want to interview me. Wow. Where will THIS lead? What will I do if I can't maintain a healthy weight? I do not want to be a hypocrite! I want to help others. NOW I find I have to help myself more. Should I wear makeup? I don't own any. ACK!!!

(I told you so, Robert...you have to give me THREE years before any of this change in me will be real and credible.)

I am tired tonight and have a big day tomorrow. I hope this posting makes sense! If not, don't pick on me too much. Later gators......

Cultured Corner

I have been keeping an artist journal that is loaded with references to my lifestyle. The ups and downs of weight gains and losses make for interesting topics. This is one page that was done back in July. I think I will share these with you all as the mood strikes me to. (smile)

All Wrapped Up

Years ago I remember my folks getting such a kick out of a joke where a woman met her husband and his boss at the door, wrapped in plastic wrap. (She didn't know the husband was bringing the boss home) Dad really thought this was hilarious. Mom just thought it was amusing....she had often complained when Dad brought home unexpected company for dinner.

I've been thinking I should wrap my body in plastic wrap. No, I would not meet my husband at the door like this, although I could ...... never mind! Anyway, when you wear a ring for a long time, that area of your finger gets slimmer. Why not wrap the saggy parts of my body in plastic wrap to shrink that?

If you do an online search about body wrapping in plastic wrap, you will be amazed at how many folks have tried this! I also found out that you can really mess up your skin. Some folks don't know they are allergic to certain plastics and blister up as if burned. Some leave it on too long and just have all kinds of yucky things happen to their skin. I think I will pass on this method to make my skin look less like a bloodhound and more like a human!

Yesterday I was in the thrift shop and decided to treat myself to a new piece of clothing. I am getting pickier about what I buy and what I keep in my closet! I found three pairs of jeans to try on. I didn't want the cheapo looking ones and went for those that had interesting details like studs or braiding on the pockets. All three were size 18's. One after another, I tried each one on. This is no easy feat when balancing on one foot trying to get my legs into jeans without crashing into the changing room mirror! One after another I tried each on and time after time I had to admit that none of them fit. They were too large! Really? I went back and found two more pairs of size 16 jeans. I tried them on. They fit! I was fully prepared for them to not fit as they are higher-end jeans. But they fit like a comfortable pair of leather gloves...snug but not tight, no sagging, no baggy butt, not too tapered in the legs...perfect for how I like wearing jeans! I used to wear size 28 jeans. Size 18 was really small to me. Size 16 seems really weird...but in a good way!

As I went through the checkout I was talking with my favorite checker girl about my fabulous finds for the day. I mentioned how happy I was to find out I was a size 16. She looked at me and said, "I wouldn't think you WERE a size 18!" Sweet girl. I should have given her a tip.

Just a few more notes before I head out to face the day...Cynthia commented on "The Thinker" posting, saying she had food obsessions. She thought that was a strong word, and I agree. However, I also agree that we get obsessed by certain foods! One way I have handled it is to find a substitute that would satisfy. If I craved cheesecake I put a little sugar-free/fat-free Jello Cheesecake pudding mix into my fat-free plain Greek yogurt. Sometimes I get fancy and put some lemon zest on that. It is very good. If I crave brownies, I find a recipe that I can cut the calories down by using yogurt or applesauce. I then calculate and allow for the calories for a serving of said brownie and I give the rest away to neighbors, the child, or sometimes freeze a few separate servings. Take the power away from the cravings and find a way to satisfy without insanity. It can be done!

Cynthia and I both agree, it just doesn't seem fair that those of us who tend to be fluffy MUST think about food and food choices a lot. I cannot say if this will ever become second nature or if we will always have to live like this. I am trying to make it more a lifestyle that I live so I do it without thinking. I have the snacks available for when I am just Jones-ing for something crunchy or salty. These are snacks that are 'ok' by my choice, to have and to not worry too much about consuming.

Finally Cynthia talked about loose skin too. She's lost almost 150 pounds, but still won't go out in shorts because she says she looks like a deflated elephant! I really know what she is saying. Plastic surgery is just not an option. I hope when I go in for my annual checkup next week, that my doctor can give me some hope for a lot of these wrinkles eventually becoming a little less like bloodhound skin. In the meantime, I am also looking into ramping up some weight training into my schedule. I haven't done much in that department and need to check it out.

Well, that's it for today I guess. I have a busy weekend ahead and a busier week next week! It is all good though. For now, take care of yourself, and walk on......

The Thinker

I've been rethinking about a lot of things lately. I actually took off the whole weekend to spend time with my family. No trips to the center for exercise or meetings or classes, no walks, no sitting at my computer in my studio away from family. It was wonderful.

I wasn't just sitting around being a couch potato, nor did I ignore my food choices. We stayed active. We worked for hours in the hot sun, doing yard work. We went shopping. We moved furniture around in the house and put shelves up. I exercised a LOT that way!

It's been five solid months now that the scale hasn't really moved. I fluctuate between 187 and 189 pounds, give or take an ounce or three. When I stop and think about it, I have reached a level of comfort and weight that might be just where I stay at. I lead an active life, make a point of exercising several times a week, eat sensibly, and take care of myself. Is this really as easy at it seems? How was I missing this all my life?

I don't feel deprived. I am not starving. I am not beating myself up on the treadmill. I am not running marathons. I am happy! Okay, so TODAY I am handling the stuck scale just fine. Will I feel this way tomorrow or next week? I don't know yet.

Another thing I wonder about is all this food stuff. Is organic really better? I agree that some organic foods taste better, but some do not. Organic also costs double or more. I don't mind paying more IF it truly tastes better. If I cannot tell the difference though, does it really matter THAT much? I am starting to ease up on my restrictions of trying to always only buy organic. I think I will use the non-organic if it tastes the same or better. I still like the organic chicken better for taste, so I will probably keep buying that. As far as the organic beef...ground beef, it does not taste any better or worse. I would do better on buying the really lean non-organic beef than spending even more on the organic. 

All these decisions are subject to change as the wind blows. It is just that lately I am thinking I don't really have to be SO hung up on every little thing!!! I am obsessive enough about other stuff in my life! I don't need to obsess about food too. And having said all this, I certainly will NOT gain all my weight back! I plan to keep that 100 pounds off and gone for good. I know I can do this now. I have done it for almost a half a year. IF things change in the future, it will be because I decide to make it change. The only option for change would be to try to lose more weight. Right now, I think I will coast for a while and see where this leads me. 

As ever, I will be researching and reading and listening to pod casts and videos. There is so much information out there! I also will be having my annual check up next week. I have lots of questions for the doctor. His answers and the tests results will probably play a part in how I proceed from now on too.

Success is neurologically determined by one's ability to stay focused on a task. My task is to eat healthy, stay active, fit exercise in my daily life or fit activity in my daily life. If I do that, I will be successful.

To TOTALLY change thoughts now, there is one thing I wish I could take care of. I have so much loose skin and flappy body parts that I feel so ugly sometimes! My bat arms could lift me high in the sky if a strong wind came up. Perhaps I should do what the lady in the picture below is doing. Heck, wouldn't it be the patriotic thing to do?

Till next time folks, walk on!

Ven Venting

Besides being a quilter I am also somewhat of an artist. I've always wanted to be one, when I grew up. Because of my artistic leanings, I am drawn (pun intended) to artistic shows. One such show is Project Runway. I think it is season 10 right now and we are about a third of the way into the shows. Each week these fashion designers are given a theme and they need to come up with a design and an outfit for models to wear.

In the past they have had to make something that a business woman could wear from office to dinner date. They've been able to design for stars who would be attending a red carpet event. They were sent to a hardware store once, to find items to make into clothing. (Most of the time they go to a place called Mood, that is a huge fabric store) You should see what you can make from black plastic garbage bags! I love seeing how their creative minds work.

Last week they were designing outfits for normal women whose friends wanted to give them a makeover. This is always challenging for designers to do because they are used to working with models that wear like a size zero. When you start getting over a size ten you are way up into the plus sizes in the fashion industry. (can you see my eyes rolling here?)

I forgot to mention that this show starts with about 15-20 designers and each week they eliminate one. Of course we get to know more and more about the different designers as each show comes on. And beings this is a 'reality' TV show, there is always some drama.

So, last week this one designer contestant gets a woman of size assigned to him. She was a whopping size 10 if you listened to her and size 14 or more if you listened to the designer that had her as his client. This designer's name was Ven. I think he is in his 30's and he really is a very talented designer. I don't like him as much any more.

All through the show he is complaining about how huge his client was and how he never designed for 'a woman of size' before. He says to his client that he will try to find a belt in a larger size as the ones he's been given are all too small. He says remarks that plainly are hurting the woman. He seems blissfully unaware at how he's coming across.

I am not the only one who wanted to throttle the man! However, on a list group I am on, of fellow artistic types, a person came on and asked why didn't the woman stand up for herself? Why did she take all that abuse and cutting comments without saying anything? She is seen crying in some clips, so he really did hurt her feelings.

This happens to so many women of size. We take abuse because many of us have such low self esteem that we feel we are not worthy to stand up for ourselves. When the obvious is pointed out to us, it hurts but we are agreeing inside that we really are awful people for being so huge.

I had planned to go on and on about this but after trying to write this post since Wednesday, I am giving up. Just know that I am angry with that designer and wish for him to lose the contest. I am angry at people who judge others for their size or looks or bank accounts. I am angry at myself for being judgemental and for having felt that I am not worth 'it' either. Gads!!! Self worth is so hard to feel sometimes!

and that is all i have to say for today.....blah