Walking with Walker Lady (and Abby)

That is how many steps it is from the first floor to the second floor at the center I go to. There is a landing in the middle, so you can rest on your way up. There is also an elevator you can use. When I first started this journey, not only could I NOT go up those stairs, I could not go DOWN those stairs! My knees and balance were so out of whack that I had to have a death grip on the railing to hold me up on the way down. Within a couple weeks though, I could go down those steps. Within a couple months, I could go up them. I would pull myself partially up by using the railing but I was taking the stairs. Now, I can go up those 24 steps, right up the middle, no extra help needed! I still hold the railing going down the stairs, just because I don't want to have a misstep and fall! I think that is kinda neat to have accomplished this! Another thi ng I have noticed is that I have little bump muscles in my arms now. They are not a body builder's muscles, but they ARE muscles!

There is a comedian that is quite heavy and his famous saying is "I'm not fat, I am fluffy!" I am not a huge fan of the comedian, but I sure like saying fluffy instead of fat! Obese should be a four letter word too. I hate the negativity in the terms associated with being overweight. Don't most people who are fat, (excuse me, I meant to say fluffy) already beat themselves up over their weight issues? Is it because we are so sensitive to our weight that when we hear the words we take them to heart too much? Fat, obese, overweight, plump, chubby, stout, portly, tubby, flabby, pudgy, piggy , heavy, chunky, hefty, XXX size, plus size, queen size, big girls, and more...all words, just words! But they can really affect us, can't they? We give too much power to others and to words others may use. We should NOT be using words like this in our own brains either. We don't need to beat ourselves up any more than we already do! These are the facts: I am over 50 and I

The dark mood has lifted and I am doing okay today. I still am going to explore ways to stave off these feelings, as I am sure they will come to haunt me again! I made it to the center to exercise this morning and have a very good, very healthy supper planned. One day at a time...one day at a time.....

I just realized that I now have less than 100 pounds to lose to be in the non-obese range! According to "the charts" out there, I should weigh around 150 pounds, give or take about twenty pounds. You may have noticed I have a 100 pound goal right now. That goal will get me to 191 pounds...41 pounds above 'normal' and only 21 pounds above a healthy weight. I was down a little over a pound and a half this week. I should be rejoicing. For some reason I am not. This whole week has seen higher calories and fat. I am averaging around 1000 calories a day and 21 grams of fat. The previous weeks have been less than these numbers. I took one of those silly quizzes that says I am food obsessive. I am afraid to not be this way. I will be trying to find answers on how to deal with this, this week. I recognize the old tapes trying to start running that lead to quitting. It IS a good thing that I gave away my big clothes. I can't afford to get fatter again!!!

Yummy! This was lunch today. Starting with the base...the salad plate I use is a fun design that makes you smile right from the start! (I think having fun dinnerware is a great thing!) I then added more color by tossing in a couple handfuls of mixed greens. On top of it all is a mixture of diced chicken, sliced black olives, grape tomatoes-cut in half, chopped green peppers, chopped sweet Vidalia onions, and a little Miracle Whip Lite dressing. (It is amazing how far a tablespoon of dressing goes!) I also added a little seasoned salt and dried celery flakes. mmm mmm mmm! My salad dishes are almost as large as a dinner plate. They have a bowl shape and hold a LOT of food! I love having this huge meal with no guilt. It has about 225 calories and six grams of fat. It is also very filling! I am still learning about foods. It is a never ending education for me. This is the part of this lifestyle change that I detest most. Well, at least today I detest it most-est ! Something else that

When I went to bed last night, I was saying to myself that I was tired of swimming and that the weather is so extra nice this week, that I was going to walk today. So, I did! I walked for about 40 minutes and went almost a mile and a half: I took a new route for variety. I will go for a shorter walk this afternoon and then back to the pool tomorrow. I haven't watched all of "The Biggest Loser" from last night yet. I did see the part where they had to carry the weight they had lost. That really strikes me. I know I mentioned the 40 pound bag of dog food I carried into the house a couple weeks ago. I don't know how I carried that weight on my body. No wonder my knees and back feel so much stronger! Pasta tonight. I take mine without meat and with portabella 'shrooms . I like 'shrooms . I hope you are having a great week! Go for a walk!

For most of this week I have been in a funk, regarding my program. (I hate calling it a 'program' because this is a lifestyle change, not a program!!!) Whatever you call it, I have been in a dark, worrisome frame of mind when thinking about how this is all going to work out. In fact, if I had a suck-o-meter, it would almost be in the red zone. I am a chronic worrier. According to my husband, I make up 'chit' to worry about! I also suffer bouts of depression, which I think is a normal thing for most humans. My brain will often fill up with such thoughts as: "How long can I keep this up?" "Will I keep doing this 'program' for the rest of my life?" "Will I keep losing weight without changing the way I am eating and exercising right now?" "Will I start gaining weight without changing the way I am eating and exercising right now?" "How will I EVER stay motivated to do this for the rest of my life?" "C

I realized that I am about halfway to my goal weight. I have changed my goal weight around a bit and finally settled on a one hundred pound total weight loss. This will be my FIRST goal. If I make it to that goal, I will see about setting a new one. I am still very unsure of my success in the long run. I lost another two pounds at Saturday's weigh-in. I started my third food and exercise journal last week too. I decided that I need this 'crutch' for now. Why mess with something that is working so well? Here is the first journal I kept: Remember when looking at this, that the calories per day have the calories burned during exercise, subtracted from the food calories taken in. I did this the same way in the second journal. In the third journal though, I am writing down the actual calories and tracking the exercise separately. Since I have something going on tomorrow, I won't make it to the center to exercise. Because of that, I went out for a mile walk today, before

I am now researching. I am wading through so many books, web pages, and informational sources, that my head hurts. I knew it would come to this! If you have dieted for any length of time, or tried dieting many times in the past, you already know there are gazillions of diet books out there. Some of you may have attained a goal weight, only to put it back on, and then some! What is missing? Let me ask you this: How many books are out there that talk about successful weight maintenance ? Dieting is easy, but LIVING the life...where are THOSE guidelines? My plan, all along, has been to stylize my new life around a way of living that will help me feel better. Part of feeling better is to not be so blasted FAT! My weight is coming off slowly because I am making lifestyle changes that I think I can live with for the rest of my life! But tell me...where ARE those books that guide you as good as the diet books do? We all know. It is because there is more money to be made in selling

Two tidbits for today. First, use fun dinnerware when you eat! The more you pay attention to your plate, the more you are aware of what is moving from that plate to your face! Second, to slow down your eating, use chopsticks! Never have used them before? No problem! I never had chopsticks until I was 55 years old! I kept at it and have now gotten the hang of it! I can't catch a fly with them, but I usually can keep the food under control from bowl to mouth. Give new things a try! You might be surprised at what you can do and the changes you can make!