It Only Hurts if I (don't) Smile

I thought we could all use a little humor today.

The heat is really becoming a challenge for me. I am not getting my walks in like I want to and I think I am suffering withdrawal symptoms! I miss my trail! However, I don't think I can enjoy the trail when it is a stifling 80° out at 6:30 in the morning with no breeze!
I know the scale will show a gain today, so I am going to wear my blue jeans and eat breakfast before I go to help justify the gain. Yes, I know, this makes no sense in the whole scheme of things!
I am doing ok. Despite being a bit stressed out about the weight and weather, I am doing ok. (no smokes yet either, though I have come really close to them!)
Till next time y'all, see ya on the flip(flop) side!

How Much Does it Cost to Ride the Roller Coaster?

Fifty cents? Two-fiddy? How much does it cost to NOT have to ride the roller coaster? I have no clue. I would like to know though. So last Saturday I had lost a few pounds. I thought to myself, "Self...could it be true that you are losing weight again?" Self was afraid to answer because of what the gremlin in my head was saying..."Don't get your hopes up, it will all come back next week."

Sigh...it didn't even take a week. Up three pounds today, since Saturday. I am actually surprised that I am not more depressed about this. Oh, and I have been thinking I should pick up a cigarette too. Have I? No, of course not! (but I have thought about it) I think I am safe from the evils of smokes though. I am a stronger person. Every time I feel weak, I recall how far I have come. Every time I feel down, I think how much I actually love being able to get out and walk the trails. ANY time I think negative thoughts, I still keep on track, keep living my life as the thinner person I have become, and I do not give up. I won't. I cannot go back to that fat woman I used to be!!!!!

Just today I was looking at the first food journal I used when I started this journey. My first ever goal was 275 pounds. Did I ever really weigh that much? yes Will I ever weigh that much again? NO

I don't care how hot it is tomorrow...I am going for a walk! I DARE you to join me.
See ya next time.....

Sort of a Ranting and Raving Moment or Three

I was listening to a podcast/video today that is based on bariatric surgeries...like stomach stapling and other related weight loss surgeries. These podcasts are sponsored by a line of protein powders, vitamins, and supplements for those who've had these surgeries. I was aghast at first. This stuff is expensive! I was then mildly angry. You want to know more about a surgery and they are touting their supplements? Now I am just disgusted. Commercialism...bah, humbug!

I have had bariatric surgery.
It was 30 years ago. I guess I was one of the lucky ones in that I have had no major issues as I've lived my life with it. I never had to take special protein supplements. I have not had to take B-12 injections on a regular basis...I did while pregnant, but I probably didn't have to. The only metabolic thing I know of is that I do run a bit on the anemic side and that might be due to my altered innards. I sometimes, though rarely now, have had a few episodes of what they call dumping or foods getting stuck and causing me to throw-up. I would say this happens just a few times a year. (kinda gross, I know, but it is a fact of life for me) Anyway, it just irks the hell out of me that bariatric surgery recipients have all this commercialism invading their lives. It is a major surgery and though it probably saves lives, it is life altering and no picnic. I would not recommend it nor would I have it again if I knew then, what I know now. I feel like they/we are being exploited. Exploited...this crazy weight issue is all about exploitation. And I do not like it, not one little bit.

All of us who are struggling with weight issues are in danger of being exploited. Like the food manufacturers who make fake foods that are irresistible, all the programs, and pills, and books, and fads are all in it for the money and seem to all be out there to exploit the "Fluffy" and take their money. It is big business and we all buy into it...even me!

Currently I'm also listening to a series that is debunking the Paleo diet that is all the rage these days.
So far, the vegetarian who is speaking, is saying the Paleo diet isn't anything more than a low carb diet fad. I tend to agree. Most new-latest-greatest-end all-be all-popular diets of the month are fads. That's my opinion anyway. Oh they talk a good talk! And it is true, they often do work for a while. Many of them fail eventually. Many of them may not fail.... but the sacrifices made by those who have stayed on them, seem to be awful painful to me. I like just living a normal life. It is getting more and more normal too!

And another thing; lately there is a huge amount of sugar talk out there. This isn't like sweet pillow talk you do with your partner, but is the talk of the evils of sugar. Granted, we don't need sugar to survive, but it does taste pretty good, doesn't it? And just like the Paleo diet, those that are trash talking sugar have very good arguments.
Don't get me wrong here...I do believe we all probably consume too much sugar. One of the predominant theories regarding sugar is that back in the 1970's Congress addressed the growing middle of the average American and would choose between fat or sugar as the major cause of rising obesity. Fat was chosen because the sugar growers had more activists and lobbyists on their side.

Fat became the enemy. But as fat was cut, Americans continued to grow fatter. The sugar theorists say it is because sugar was the real culprit all along. They point to the rising use of sugar in foods coinciding with the rising blubber on the population. They have pictures and graphs and all kinds of reasons why they are right and the fat busters are wrong.

It has gotten so bad that the mayor of New York wants to pass a law that will fine any place that sells a glass of soda larger than 16 ounces. The fine suggested is $200. At the same time New York is thinking about another new law that would fine you for possessing an ounce of weed. That fine would be $100...just sayin'. (The photo isn't the mayor but is Jon Stewart with a glass of soda and a glass of about an ounce of weed)
I have watched article after article come out about the evil sugar. I have seen several different TV shows and specials on the same topic. Books that were written in the past about getting sugar out of your diet are coming around again in popularity.
I won't be surprised if we don't see a huge shift in food manufacturers touting low sugar, no sugar, no high fructose corn syrup foods. My guess is the 'natural' sweeteners like Stevia and the artificial sweeteners will fill the need for sweetness in our manufactured, fake foods. Or perhaps a new chemical alternative will be found as the next best thing to sugar.

This all sounds good, right? Of course it does! Let me back up a second...back to the Paleo diet. Even before I figured out that it was basically a low-carb type diet, I had issues with it. They say that our ancestors didn't eat seeds and beans and ate a lot of meat. I didn't buy into that at all. How could they have not eaten seeds? Or beans? Back to sugar...what else happened since the 1970's?

Come on, you know the answer to this...it is the tellie! You know...TV, TV and video games. TV, video games, and computers. TV, video games, computers, drive-thru liquor stores. (Ok, drive-thru fast food joints...but I have always thought that a drive-through liquor store was kind of a weird thing and somewhat hypocritical-drinking and driving is bad but a drive-thru liquor store isn't?) All these and more keep us sitting in our vehicles when we are out and sitting in our homes when we are home. Even our children do not get sent out to 'go play till suppertime' anymore. Many wouldn't know what to do with themselves away from their technologies of choice.

So who's to say if fat is bad or not so bad? Or if sugar is the main culprit in our growing obesity issue? Or is it just we've grown lazy? I actually feel justified in saying it comes back around to the adage to live like the thin person you want to be! And as Michael Pollan says, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” That is pretty good advice.

Now, since it is still hot AND it is officially summer....
go for a swim!

The Three R's

Now I am not talking about readin', writin', and arithmetic, here. (I wonder why the three R's only have one word that starts with the letter R?)

I am also not talking like a pirate today. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!


What I AM talking about is:

• Revelation
• Rebellion/Revolution
• Resolution

(YES, I know there are technically FOUR words there but I couldn't make up my mind which three I wanted to use for sure...deal with it!)
At the beginning of Yoga class today, those words came to mind. I have been through all of them to get where I am today.

REVELATION: It was quite a revelation that I COULD lose weight, and over 100 pounds at that! I never believed I could do it without some drastic gimmick doing all the work for me, and a magic wand being waved, and a voodoo doctor doing the Witch Doctor dance on my head! It was quite a revelation that eating sensibly and exercising modestly could make such a huge change in my life, my body, and my mind!

REBELLION: I keep dealing with that little gremlin and that little child inside me, throwing temper tantrums now and again. If my spouse or child has ice cream for dessert or they get donuts on Sunday morning, I sometimes do feel cheated...or feel like cheating! I used to use those feelings as excuses to give up. At those times however, I was on a calorie restrictive diet program. As I have said, programs don't work for the long haul. You HAVE to change your lifestyle!
I have also felt rebellious as my weight has stopped changing. It has been ten weeks now, that I have gained and lost and gained and lost and gained and lost and gained the same four pounds. It has been depressing at times. I have been tempted to pick up the cigarettes at times. (I haven't) I have looked over my way of eating and exercising again and again and again! I am doing everything the right way for me. I do not know why my metabolism recalibration hasn't re-calibrated yet, or if it will recalibrate!

RESOLUTION: In talking over things with my spouse, I realize I am not willing to change anything in my exercise program or eat in any way more drastic than I am. I AM willing to eat like I have been and to exercise as I have been. I am becoming resolved that this might be where I will be for now and maybe for years. And I am becoming more resolved that, this would be ok, if it is to be. I have lost over 100 pounds. As long as I stay here in the 180's, I can be very happy with this. So, I am resolved to learn to enjoy life as I have been, exercise and enjoy that, as I have been, and to eat healthy, as I have been. Life is good. Life is a LOT better than it was just a few short months ago...18, if you want to be more exact.

So...let's see what happens next, ok? Oh, and it is too hot to walk...I will be at the local pool every day this week! Come splash with me? :)

I WANNA BE FAT!!!

I am so tired of all this stuff! The scale doesn't move in the right direction. I hate not being able to resist those cookies I stupidly made because I couldn't bear to throw out those year old butterscotch chips in the freezer. I am such a fake because I never hardly ever sit at the table to eat my meals. I eat with the computer or TV as company. I wanna be FAT!!!

No, no, no, not that type of fat!!!

FAT:

Like this! You know...F.A.T.!

F=FIT
A=AND
T=TRIM

What were YOU thinking?
That I had lost my marbles?
(or diamonds?)
See you next time!
Now, GO FOR A WALK!!!

Quiet Please

I feel like I have been a bit too quiet. I recall (I think from Russ and Jeff of Fat 2 Fit fame) once hearing them say that a blog they were following had a guy who was quite successful at losing weight. Then he stopped posting. Sure enough, they found out that he had started gaining weight again and was no longer living a healthy lifestyle. He was too ashamed to continue. I have felt the same way. I admit, it is much harder to write when one isn't as successful as one has been in the past. Who wants to hear about failures? Or whining? And isn't it boring if there aren't any changes happening?

If it is boring to read of such things, then prepare yourself to be bored (or just skip reading this blog right now). In no particular order, here is what has been going on: Summer break has been going on for two weeks now. I am still not in a regular groove of exercises. My 11 year old son and I have gone to Yoga together. (He tolerated it) We also tried Zumba. (We both hated it) Yesterday we paid the dues for the summer of swimming at the local community pool. I am still doing two days of Yoga on my own and trying to get a walk in when the weather isn't too oppressive. However, the weather HAS been tricky! It has been sticky and humid early in the mornings. I go for a walk and am drenched with sweat by the time I get home. I also do not stop and shop after Yoga class like I used to. I would often spend an hour or more shopping for a bargain at the local thrift shop. SO, what this all means is I don't feel like I am exercising hard enough!

I have been saying to myself, "Self, you really should do more resistance work to build up those muscles." I am hoping that the increased time in the pool will do just that. If this summer's pool time proves to be a muscle building thing, I will have to get back into the pool at the center this fall and winter!

In other concerns...I have not lost any weight since the end of April. In fact, I have gained a few pounds. I have been going up and down and up and down and up again, a pound or two at a time. Now true, I WAS smoking in April and that probably contributed to my weight loss then. I have since quit and have been smoke-free for well over a month now. I looked at my caloric intake and I am right on track there. What has changed? My wonderful husband and best friend and I talked about it a bit today. (my husband and best friend are one in the same, in case you didn't know)

Let me back up a step...I have also been listening to several podcasts and TV programs that are currently talking about sugar and carbs being so bad. Like the fat craze that started in the 70's, now the sugar craze is trying to take hold.

I thought perhaps I should be eating fewer carbs to keep losing weight. I have 30-40 more pounds that I would LIKE to lose. I also do not want to change much more in the type of lifestyle I am now leading. I would maybe consider changing up the carb thing and cutting back on sugar, but all throughout this 'adventure' I said I would do what I felt I could do the rest of my life. I do NOT want to exercise two hours a day till I drop. The foods I eat are pretty good. I like eating healthier. But was I, am I, missing something here? Do I go the way of eating like the caveman, or the Paleo diet folks, or the Vegans, or the Vegetarians? That isn't me. I am omnivore. I like being omnivorey. (that isn't a real word though) I am a real person. I enjoy all kinds of foods. I like trying new ones. I have NO issue giving up or severely limiting fast foods, processed foods, or fake foods. The closer I get to a food's origins, the better it tastes to me. That is the example I want to set for my child too. I want him to know what real food tastes like. I want him to be as miffed with processed foods as I am. I want him to not have the weight problems I've had.

Ok, back to talking about my husband's and my thoughts on why I've stalled out on the weight loss thing. What has changed besides exercising? And truly, the weight losing stalled out long before the exercise changes. What AM I doing different now? Ok, I have not been eating my oatmeal/yogurt/banana breakfasts, six to seven mornings a week. In fact, I haven't eaten breakfasts until several hours after waking up. I need to eat breakfasts again...early again. You might want to ask me why I had quit. I got it into my head that I wouldn't make it until the next meal to eat and would starve and then binge. I feared that I would lose control and eat too much...too many calories....I feared losing control. I need to conquer that fear again.

What else has changed? Well, I am not eating as much yogurt as I was and I am eating 2% low fat yogurt instead of 0% fat yogurt. Should I go back to the lower calories? I am not sure about that. Let me think on it some before deciding.

Anything else? Well, there has been a bit of chocolate consumed at bedtime. Yes, I have had one of those miniature candy bars around bedtime for a chocolate hit. It is only 40 calories and I had calories to spare, but could that have stalled out the weight loss?

We couldn't come up with any other concrete changes. I guess I will see what happens if I just start eating breakfast again. Damn the carbs, full steam(ed oatmeal) ahead!