Oh Poor Me...NOT!!!

Sometimes I really DO feel like poor Eeyore. So sad. So down in the dumps. This journey though, has shown me that a sad day is most often followed by a better day and then a happier day!

That is what happened a week ago, yesterday. After a .2 gain last Saturday, that really shouldn't count for much, this week I had a .6 loss. That really shouldn't count either, but I am counting it anyway! I think I am hovering around a plateau right now. I am mostly, okay with this. I know I need to change up my exercise routine a bit, in order to push for bigger losses again.

In two weeks my son goes back to school and I plan to do just that, change up my exercises! It is still very hot here in central Arkansas and I look forward to the days I can walk my dog outside again! Until then, once I am more free to go back into the gym at the center, I will keep exercising in the pool. It might not be doing much for weight loss, but I feel it is still keeping major weight gain from happening!

I am still riding the 'high' from being able to fit into those jeans this last week!

I am excited that I have this pair and two others that I saved from all those many years ago! I will be wearing them this fall and winter. I like them so much that if I lose too much and get too small for them and keep that weight off, I will have them professionally altered to fit. They are bell bottoms and I am such a hippy chick at heart!Don't be an Eeyore! Keep on with your personal program and KNOW that a better day always comes, IF you really WANT it to! Besides, who wants to be blue unless they are in the Blue Man Group?!!!

See you next week!

I am Doing Fine!

Just a quick hello! After that tough weekend I thought I should share that I am doing better. This morning I tried on clothes that I have saved for over 11 years. That is the blouse I wore when I got married! I admit I have a muffin-top above those jeans, but I could button them, zip them, and sit down in them, today! I will be wearing them this fall and winter, for sure! I tried those jeans on about three months ago and could not even button them!
Moral of the story: Never give up! I am NOT!

She IS Human, After All!

At Saturday's meeting I gained point two pounds. Ooooooooooooooooooooo! I am quitting. This isn't worth it. Why bother? I am a failure. I am bad. I suck. I am not worthy. So what?
At the meeting, someone said to me that I really was human, after all! Just because I have been successful these past eight months, doesn't mean I am a super hero! I did decide to take today off though. I have not exercised. I am still eating like I should. I am not giving up. I even had TWO cigarettes today because we found some, laying about! I won't have any tomorrow.

OMG! Does this blow your mind? See? I truly AM human and I DO have my better days and my not-so-great days. In the past, I would give up and gorge myself. I might smoke a pack of cigarettes. I might drink a bottle of wine. I am not doing that, this time. Tomorrow I will exercise, as I normally do. I might even add a bit of time to it, just to atone for being naughty today.

That is what this is all about! We are all human. We will have days like these. It is not an excuse to give up and lay down and die. At least it is not for me. I have lost over 60 pounds! I am not about to throw that away! I am not giving up.

See you next week.
Me, The Human

He Look-a Like-a Man!

Remember that comedy bit on "Mad TV"? Ms Swan would make comments, with her awful accent, in those hilarious skits. Anyway, I came across the above clip art and although it is a silhouette of a man, it still works.

I don't see myself as being the first one in line. I think I was there before the surgery back in'81 though. In my current lifestyle change program, I think I was most like number three or four. And now I think I am between five and six. Will I ever be an eight? I dunno. How about a nine? That is not even in this picture!

Have you ever wondered about your body image? You may have heard that anorexics see themselves as huge, fat, obese, people when they look in the mirror. They might be walking skeletons but they don't see themselves that way.

How do obese people see themselves? Are we so afraid to look into a mirror for more than a glance, that we don't really know what we see?
For many, myself included, it is a self esteem issue. For the past eight months, I have been working on my inside self, just as much as my outside self. Both selves are hard to deal with at times! Take a good long look at yourself in the mirror. I don't care if you have clothes on or not, but if not, please pull the curtains so you don't scare the neighbors!!!

It is easy to pick out what we don't like about ourselves. Make yourself pick out what you DO like! Always walk away from a mirror with a smile. It really will help you like yourself.

This also works with photographs. Take photos of yourself as you make changes in your life. Really see what you look good in and what makes you look worse. Learn
how to dress yourself in the most flattering ways.

These three photos of me are taken just a few weeks apart. There isn't that huge of a weight loss between the first and last one. The difference is in what clothes I am wearing and how I am wearing them! If you think you look better, you will carry yourself better and you will look better and feel better! It is one of those vicious cycles, but in a good way.

I was down another two pounds at my weigh-in yesterday. I was surprised again! I am afraid to let my guard down just yet. I know I am due for a plateau any week now. I don't know how I will handle that, when it happens. I am trying to keep a positive attitude and to keep looking at the new me, in the mirror. I think that will get me through a plateau and on to continued success!

That's all I have to share with you today. So get out and go for a walk or swim!!!

Perfectionism

There was a very good article in my Spark People newsletter this morning. It talked about everything in moderation. The last page of the article had this paragraph:

"By refusing to be a perfectionist, you can take most of the stress out of weight loss. You’ll see small problems as what they are—very small problems, not major calamities that mean you've blown it. You'll be able to find pleasure and satisfaction in the fact you’re learning as you go and doing a little better all the time. No more making things worse because your perfectionism caused you to write off the rest of the day or week after one little slip."

I suffer from a mild anxiety disorder and perfectionism issues used to trigger failure. It used to be if I ate one bite of a 'bad food' I may as well give up, forever. I bet a lot of folks think this way. I have finally gotten to where I recognize many of these triggers and have been able to overcome them more and more. I no longer see things as an absolute.

This morning I actually gave in to something that has been on my mind for a long time. My husband likes to get doughnuts every Sunday morning. Most of the time I pass on having any. This morning, I did not. This was my plate:
That is one eighth of a maple frosted cream filled Long John and a doughnut hole. One whole Long John has 425 calories and 11 grams of fat. I made it a plan to have just a little bit...just a little taste. Using a tool that we discussed in the weight loss support group yesterday, I took my time, eating the Long John. The trick is that you are supposed to savor and enjoy your food. You are not supposed to wolf it down as fast as you can! The faster you can eat, the more you can stuff in your tummy! Right?

I gave myself permission to eat the doughnut slowly. I managed to divide it into three bites. I actually did not eat the doughnut hole! In class yesterday, our Fearless Leader restated the fact that the first bite of food packs the most flavor punch. We taste the first mouthful of food the most intensely. This really is true. I found that third morsel of this Long John had little to no flavor. I could not even taste the maple frosting. In fact, the whole thing didn't taste as good as I had imagined. This made it easy to pass on the doughnut hole.
In a perfect world, it used to be that that bite of doughnut would mean failure. In a realistic world, it is not! I continue to strive to slow down and taste my food. It is one of the hardest things for me to learn. I have made some progress though. Think of the tortoise and eat slowly. Taste your food!!! And if your food is not satisfying to your palate, don't waste your calories on it. Toss it and find something more to your liking.
That is my advice for today! Now go for a walk, if the temperatures are cooler where you are. I am headed to the pool this afternoon. See you next week!

KABOOM!!!

I weighed in today. I thought I might be down a pound or two, but not three point six pounds!!! I made another milestone! Almost 63 pounds have gone away, over the past eight months!

I can hardly believe it! I plan to reward myself with a new swimsuit.

I was going to be all philosophical on today's posting too! You will have to forgive me though, because I am just so in shock over this milestone event!

I still worry about that fatter gal I left behind. I hope she retires now and leaves me to enjoy the rest of my life in a more normal and healthy way! I have a lot of work to do to get my brain in order too. My life constantly evolves and changes as the 'new' me emerges. It is true, what they say, you do feel almost reborn in a new body!

At night, when laying in bed, my knees hit each other now. I can feel my ribs and hip bones. It is all strange, this new body. I hate the saggy flabby parts and sometimes wish I had the money to get a few nips and tucks on my belly and underarms. I am just not vain enough to do that. I will have to get creative with my clothing. I know most people still see a fat woman walking around. I feel skinny though and what I feel...counts!

See ya next time!

Quick Update!

This is a quick shout-out to Shirley and all the gang at the center: "I miss you all too! Only five more weeks to go before I am back with you all again!"

I have spent the summer reading, swimming, and trying to keep on track with everything. I just had the Forth of July Invasion of all my adult kids and my son-in-law here at the house. It was hard to resist all the tempting holiday treats! It helped that my daughter has declared herself to be a Vegan. She and I were able to share many foods! I won't know until tomorrow if the snacking and lack of exercising, did any damage. I only really missed one day, so it really isn't that bad!

I have tackled several stressful issues over the past ten days. I really recognized the 'old me' trying to rear her head and take over the 'new me'! The AC went out in our RV that my daughter and her husband were going to stay in and getting that fixed the week before a huge holiday weekend wasn't easy! I was frazzled by all the company coming and by getting everything ready to go. I wanted to eat and I wanted a cigarette. I resisted both.

I will admit I had a coupe crackers that I normally would not have touched. I also had a couple puffs of my husband's cigarette. However, I got right back in the right frame of mind and am not smoking again, nor am I over-eating. In the past, I would have been doing both as well as drinking! No wonder I was fat!!! It is interesting to me when I discover such things about my psyche.

But I did it! Although I missed one day of planned exercising, I DID manage to go swimming, WITH the family, at the same pool I have been going to all summer! So YA me!

I am working on trying to sell off some of my fat clothes now. I have recently had to buy about 95% of the clothes that are currently hanging in my closet. I had donated a lot of clothes but I could really use some money to buy new clothing. I shop at the thrift stores, so it isn't like I am needing new, off the rack, clothing! Anyway, it is all working out. It is all working out s-l-o-w-l-y, which is the way it is supposed to when you are making a life-style change!

I hope to have a better posting over the weekend. Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I am only one pound away from having lost 60 pounds!!! Wish me luck!