Observations and Procrastinations

I need to start carrying a bag that has room for a food journal, a pocket notebook, pens and perhaps a drawing notebook. I read an article that, once again, said that keeping a food journal is the key to losing weight. I hate it. I don't like it. I don't want to do it. I also don't want to be at the weight I am at.

So I need to start keeping a food journal again. (sigh)

I also need a notebook to write down witty sayings when I think of them since I can't remember most any thought for more than a nanosecond or so, like when I am in the bathroom and note that we need shampoo and not remember to write it down on the grocery list in the kitchen as I pass through there 30 seconds later, to go to the laundry room where I note I need laundry soap and more pasta sauce because my pantry, which is in the laundry room, only has one jar of pasta sauce, so I go to write that on the grocery list back in the kitchen, saying to myself "I need to add three things" and will forget the third thing, which was the shampoo, as I let the dogs out because they are at my feet looking at me with their eyes all sad and stuff, saying "We are full of pee and if you don't let us out we will pee on the carpeting because you didn't let us out" and O-o-o-o . . . SHINY!!! Yes, my brain works this way.

We finally got a break from the oppressive heat of summer. The weather has been perfect for walking. I have not been able to bring myself to actually go walking out on the trails though. I am still really missing Ziva. I don't feel safe without her by my side.

I toyed with getting another dog but we have two aging cats and two little older dogs. I don't want to bring a new big one into the mix right now. Perhaps when the cats are gone, I can look at getting another dog. Or not. I need to find a place I can feel safe, while walking. I could use an indoor track but I am not an indoor loving person. When the weather is nice like this, I want to be out in nature. Nature also doesn't seem to be found while street walking either. (No, not THAT kind of street walking!!!)

I've been giving a LOT of thought to my life. I feel so unfocused.

I AM mostly fine. My trainer wonders sometimes though. It seems like there is always something happening to upend my life. My daughter moved in with us. The RV needed more work on a leak. My son has gotten busier at school. There have been events we've gone to, out of town. The latest tizzy came when a guy that my husband used to work with, contacted him. That one gave pause to daydreams about getting a job offer to move back to California and all the chaos that would go with that. It seems like I have something on my mind all the time. No wonder I can't sit still and just read or sew!

In other news, I decided to not drink for the month of September. I called it 'Sober September'. I thought I was being so clever. I did not know that that was a REAL thing!!! I lasted two weeks before I had ONE glass of wine when we went out to dinner this week. Other than that one glass, I haven't had a drop. When I got on the scale, I had gained a pound. WTF???? I am not going to use this as a reason to start drinking more though. I just do not need the empty calories. It sure would have been nice to have seen a little sign that alcohol had been contributing to some of my excess poundage. Oh well.

I don't know if it is perfection I am seeking or not. I have agonized over which direction to go in. What DO I want to be when I grow up? I dabble in artistic things like drawing and my Abby cartoons. I do a lot of quilting. I crochet too. Some people I know have said I should become a life coach or fitness trainer or yoga instructor. I am not degreed in any of those though. I've wondered about becoming a writer. What would I write about?  Not knowing which way to go has kept me going nowhere. "She's a real no-where ma'am" (sigh)

With all the chaos in my life, both big and little, I am feeling that something is in the air. The weather is getting ready to turn to fall. I am sure that has something to do with it. I hope that this feeling will develop into a direction to go in, even if it is only for a few months. I would like to have some new direction to go in. I want to like having that new direction. I want to find where the Yellow Brick Road went to so I can go off and see the Wizard. I want to be in Onederland again. (Johnny Depp is such a fox) humma, humma!
That is the latest.  Walk-On dear readers!