Nothing to see here

There really isn't anything to see here. I haven't been blogging. That is pretty obvious. Today I told the support group that I was taking off for the rest of the year and didn't know if I'd be back in January. Yup, things are a-changing.

Meanwhile, enjoy these two photos from one of our summer camping weekends:

Looking out the back window of our RV

Lake Catherine State Park, Arkansas

Oh Just Grow Up!

Like so many bloggers, I don't like writing when I don't like what I want to write about. I have seen other bloggers doing the same. If, for example, you are doing a weight loss blog and you, yourself, are not losing weight, you might go quiet and not write. (sound familiar?)

Dex and I, camping this spring

We hold ourselves up to such high standards. When we stop posting, is it because we are letting ourselves down or letting our readers down? Or both?

The Mister, tending the campfire

I am still trying to figure out what my life should become....how I should be living....no, not HOW but WHAT? What would make me happy?

I am not trying to push this over! It was an exercise stop on a trail we were on

Here I am, almost 63 years old. It feels both SO old and SO young, at the same time! I've been a Mom for over 35 years. I've had at least one child living with me all those years. Currently I have two still here. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE my kids, but a part of me is looking forward to the next chapter in my life and more alone time with The Mister.

My young man, enjoying the view

In two years, my youngest will graduate high school. Hopefully my daughter's life will be better and she will be able to move out and be on her own again too. I am thankful we were able to take her in, in her time of need. (She is dealing with some health issues that are not resolved yet.)

Anyway, I look forward to my future. I am also getting to feel more selfish. My husband is younger than I am. He won't be able to get social security for ten more years. I could get SS now, but it is only a couple hundred dollars. At this point, it isn't worth it to apply for.

Extra-wide chairs at the doctor's office!

Obesity is very prevalent, here in the south. Our doctor's office has adjusted for this by having these very sturdy, extra-wide chairs in the waiting rooms.

Camping and Computering with the help from my Dexter Dog

But what do I want in life? What do I want to do when I grow up? Where do I want to live? I don't know. That bothers me a lot.

REBOOT!!!

Inserting expletives here.......@$^678(^%^&@!522@!$^*!!!!!!

I have totally fallen to a new low. Dagnabit! After being sick for a week, followed by my two oldest sons' visit from out of town, I gained enough weight to be a hair over 230 pounds. DAMMIT!!! And don't go telling me I have an excuse for the gain. I really do NOT. I've been skating on the edge for a while now and have been in denial about my eating and exercising.

Am I a fake for teaching a healthy living and weight loss class? Heck no! I am demonstrating that everyone has their ups and downs. I am showing I am not Super Woman and am human. And I will be showing that you really DO have to keep a food journal (in most cases) and pay attention to your exercise habits to lose weight or to maintain lost weight.

And after a week of journaling, I was down a bit over a pound. 228.2. Now, if only I could get my mojo back and walk more!

Ring in the New Year with Goal Setting!

Ya, I know, goal setting is boring and often you don't really believe you can set a goal and achieve it. I am here to tell you, I used to feel the same way! Once I learned HOW to set a goal, though, I become more proficient at it.





The way to succeed at goal setting is to make realistic goals. Sounds simple, right? Let's explore some ways to do this.

First off, let's use the common goal of losing weight. Get a piece of paper. (Don't do this in your head.) Write down one goal you want to achieve at the top of the paper. For example:

"I want to lose weight"

Now break this goal down into smaller goals:

I want to lose weight

I want to lose (how many) pounds

I want to lose these pounds by a specific date

I will lose weight by:

     Eating more vegetables (how much more?)

     Eating less fast foods (how much less?)

     Eating fewer calories (how many fewer?)

     Eating healthy foods (what IS a healthy food?)

     Eating less sugar (how much less?)

     Eating less fat (how much less?)
     Counting calories
     Keeping a food journal
     Exercising more (how much more?)
          30 minutes a day cardio (every day? every other day? what type of cardio?))
          30 minutes a day strength training (how often? what kind?)

The more you break down your goals into smaller manageable parts, the easier it will be to actually achieve those goals!

After you've broken down your goals into smaller bite-sized chunks, (pun intended), organize them into a logical order. For example you might start with a food journal. You can even shrink the actual chore of keeping a food journal into even smaller goals.

You might start with just writing down what you ate. Do that for a week or two before adding portion sizes or calorie counting. In a month's time writing in your food journal, including portion sizes and calorie counting will become almost second nature. Perhaps break this down even further to logging your fat grams or carbs. Once that becomes a habit, add your exercise plans and goals, one at a time.

Exercises could be broken down into ten minute a day segments. The first month you do ten minutes of treadmill walking. The second month you add five or ten minutes until it becomes more a part of your normal daily routine.

By breaking down our goals into the smallest and most simple pieces, we can actually achieve those goals easier. They will also stick with us better because we are forming new habits; new lifestyles, to go along with our big goal of losing weight.

My first goal of this year was to walk a minimum of ten minutes a day for the whole year. I have done this before and I have done it every day so far this year! My second goal is to NOT have fried eggs for the month of February. See? Simple goals. If you make them simple you will feel successful as you accomplish each one and you will stay motivated to achieve your goals.

What simple goal plans can you make?

Dexie Smooches!

Wishing you all the best, this holiday season!
"Dex, stop giving me kisses!!!"

It will soon be January 1st, 2017. I usually do not do new year's resolutions, but this year I am. I am going to do the ten minutes per day, walking challenge that I did a few years ago. I will commit to do, at the least, ten minutes of walking every day.

Keep it simple and you can make a goal for yourself as well. Just one little thing can lead to big changes. What will your goal be for the new year?

Happy Holidays!

Wishing all my readers a wonderful holiday season! 

See you next year!

Let the Holidays Begin!

Halloween is over. The damn candy is almost gone out of the house! Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away. Where DOES the time go???

We did a renfaire on Saturday. This was at Gravette, Arkansas. We've done this little faire in the past and always have enjoyed it.

Me, my son and my husband playing at faire 

My son and I on a walk-about

I turned 62 in October. For my birthday I got an America the Beautiful Pass. This gets me discounts at national parks and five other national or federal agencies. I got mine at Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas. This is the high school that had the National Guard escorting nine African American students into school. It was the start of desegregation in the south.

Me, in front of Central High School in Little Rock, AR

I felt surreal, being in the area where so much history had happened. It is still a working high school too. The floors were so clean and bright! The building was just so awesome. It was a fun day to go get my pass.

I am continuing to do much better in life. I like feeling 'normal' again! Till next time, walk on!

Food and drug and dog

Last week I went to see my GP for my annual wellness checkup. I was very nervous about this one. I was honest with my doc about my wine consumption and wanted to talk about how bad things have to be before one should seek out a pill to maybe make it better?
Although I do function without meds, I don't function very well. Doc was very understanding and assured me that I had classic symptoms of depression and anxiety and that there might be a drug that would make my life a bit nicer.
As I write this today, I am almost three weeks into my trial run. I am on the lowest dose. I first noticed being a bit more tired than usual. I still didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings. I was exhausted in the afternoons.
He said it would take ten days before I'd notice any changes. After almost two weeks I feel calmer. I am not as tired as I was. I can get out of bed and some days I am actually looking forward to the day. Then, one night, I didn't want to have the wine I had always been having. I hope this is all due to the drugs and not a placebo effect. It takes close to a month before the full affects of the drugs kick in. I am hopeful for a better quality of life.

I want to chat a bit about food. Here is a recent breakfast I had:

Ezekiel toast, two poached eggs, turkey bacon, black coffee

I recently found an egg poacher at the thrift store. Oh my, it has been a game changer for me! I can make poached eggs faster than fried and of course they are better for me than fried. The turkey bacon was meh. I think I will stick with real bacon, Canadian bacon, or turkey breakfast sausage.

I have been wanting to eat Chinese food lately and tried to find something I could make up quickly that would take care of my cravings. This one looked really good!

Funny how the photo on the box and what you actually get, don't quite look the same.

So I next decided to try takeout at a drive through Chinese place:

Wholly cow! There was enough food here for FOUR people!!! You might know that one thing Chinese food is NOT good for, is as leftover food. It didn't taste very good either. WAY too greasy. I didn't eat much of this and shared most of it with the family. (They eat anything that isn't green) I might have to give up on Chinese food, or maybe learn how to cook what I want. I've tried though, and I am not a bad cook, but Chinese foods have not been very easy for me.

Guess where Dex and I went last Friday? 

Yup, the trail! I hadn't been out since this past spring. I overdid it and went the full route. My knee screamed at me for that one. We enjoyed it though and were delighted when we found the city had been out and mowed the weeds down. No wood ticks this time either. I hope to get out there again this fall, as the weather cools.

Speaking of Dex, there he is, on the trail. He must have some hunting dog in him because he was ALL over that trail, sniffing out this and that. I don't think he will turn down a walk with me, EVER! hahahaha

Finally, I will share this photo of Dexter:

He looks so regal. Looks are deceiving though. He's a little stinker! And I love him to pieces.

That's it for today. Hope you are all doing well out there. Till next time, walk on!

That "inner mean girl"

Bullying is an often heard topic these days. It is a serious problem that can devistate younger people. It happens in older folks too, but we're supposed to know better and handle it better, since we are SO much more mature.

Bologna

What if I told you that there was this gal who was bullying me? She told me that because I talk about losing weight but don't always practice what I preach, that I was a fake.
She said because I don't walk enough, I will just get fatter and fatter.
She said because I like to drink wine every night, that I was an alcoholic.
She said because I struggled with wanting to smoke cigarettes, that I was a weakling.
She said that because I had a fat belly, that I looked like a fat old lady and was ugly!
She said that because I gained some of the weight back that I had lost a few years ago, that I was a loser and would never be able to keep the weight off for very long.
She called me a failure.

Who was this awful person? WHY did I let her in my life? WHY did I listen to her? Why? Well, because SHE is actually ME. She is the inner mean girl that puts me down over and over again. Her voice is often way too loud. She hurts my feelings. She makes me doubt myself. She hates me.

In a post over on Roni's blog, she talks about the stories that this inner mean girl tells her too. Here is an excerpt:

The Stories You Tell Yourself

Skinny-ness is a state of mind

"Losing weight, for some of us, is more of mind game then anything else. It’s not impossible but it sure is difficult to achieve a goal that’s so clearly undefined and drenched in emotional baggage. Instead, what I’m suggesting is that you place your focus squarely on becoming a healthy, happy, balanced person, rather than a skinny one and you may be surprised at what you can succeed.
I started just doing less and less because I didn’t like the body I was in, the body I put myself in."

---

This really spoke to me. I read the comments from others who do this too. How do we fight this inner mean girl's words?

I HAVE been wanting to get "back on track" and have slid down the slippery slope of self loathing and self defeating talk. Abby is suffering right along with me.

She's been coasting along, full of self loathing and self pity. She hasn't wanted to walk, even though she's heard it numerous times from others, that she should be walking like she used to. She's watched the scale creep up and up.
Sweet Dexter, the wonder dog, is sad too. He would be happy to go walking with her. Sure, he isn't as fearsome looking as Ziva was, but he still would be a good partner to hit the trails with.

Tomorrow is August first AND it is a Monday. Abby and I are hoping that somehow we will pull ourselves together and begin again, to make the changes needed to get back on track to a healthier life. We want to reverse the weight gaining trend, get out and walk again, and just be the people we want to be!

I hope the mean girl gets gobsmacked upside her pretty little warped head and goes away for a while. We will keep you posted.

One last bit. Some of the goings on in the world right now, sure don't help matters. Abby thinks we are being invaded:

That makes as much sense as how things seem to be going, doesn't it? 

Until next time, let's all walk-on!!!

Well, that was fun!

So ya, it HAS been over a month since I last posted. Gosh, I feel like a new woman! Nothing has changed much, except for my attitude.

So, ya, um, why DID my attitude change? Let me tell you. I went camping. Yup, I did.

No, this isn't me. This is my Mom from about 1969. For a few years my Mom and Dad took my two younger sisters and me camping in the summers. I remember those times as some of the best times we had with our folks.

This is a picture from inside our camper. That is Dex, on our bed, looking out the back window. This was his second camping trip with us. The first one was just for two nights. This last one was almost two weeks!

We went from Arkansas, through Missouri, and into Iowa. We stopped at the Grotto of the Redemption. This is a little spot in a little town called West Bend. The stones and rocks were all put in place by a priest many years ago. I cannot capture how neat this place is. You don't even have to be religious to enjoy it. It had special meaning to me as one of the last times I went here, I was with my baby sister. She passed away several years ago at age 48. Yes, I shed a few tears while revisiting this place.

A happier moment happened when my son found a phone booth. Of course he had never seen one in person before. It was not functional but it was neat that he could actually get a feel for what a phone booth was.

From Iowa we went into Minnesota and stopped by my folks' old place in the country. Here is my son, standing at the bridge where my folks' ashes were spread. He got to see their place that they had built together back in the early '70's. They had passed before he was born. I was glad he let me show him some of my past.

We went over to South Dakota to spend a few nights near a high school friend of mine. This is our campsite. Do you see me?

There I am! I was reading a good book. I read two and a half books on this trip. I haven't relaxed like that in .... well, I can't recall when I've relaxed like that! hahahaha

One of my best friends from high school picked us up at the campgrounds and took us to see the falls that Sioux Falls, SD is named for. They were spectacular!

I lived two hours from these waterfalls when I was younger, and never had seen them before!

One thing we did on our camping trip was to try different, local, Polish sausages. These were the best ones, by far. I don't know what they do to make them so good up there, but yummmmmmmmooooo! I cannot find anything close to them, down here in the south.
Actually this is probably a good thing. This isn't exactly within the realm of healthy eating. But man, they are really so good!!!

 Dex was awesome on the trip. We even managed to tire him out once in a while.

 My son became a master S'mores maker.

We visited a cave in southern Minnesota as we swung back east. This is an underground (mini) lake. I am not crazy about caves. I had to try hard to not think about what might happen if the power were to   go out while we were down there!

We headed into Wisconsin to see House on the Rock.
How can one explain what House on the Rock is? There are so many oddities to see. 

Here is one of the many huge metal pots that were around the grounds outside. 

This whale was several stories tall. That is a walkway at the bottom left. One of those teeth could be the size of a person!

 They had all sorts of collections of things, like these masks.

And these airplanes, hanging from the ceiling. They were not little models either. I would say the wingspans were close to ten feet in many cases.

 Here my son and I are about to be swallowed up by a monster!

 This is a diorama of a circus. They had many of these in their collections. 

The figures are only a few inches high.

This is the world's largest, indoor, carousel. There are 80 such animals on it and none are horses! I wish we could have ridden it, but it is for looking at, only.

Of course I had to buy a souvenir at the gift shop.

We're working on this 'selfie' thing here.

On down through Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, and into Kentucky we went. I have thousands of photos and just can't share all of them with you! 

This was our last campground in Tennessee. I found a trail to walk on!

Well, hubby found it, but I walked on it a bit too!

Dexter always waited for hubby to come back in the RV when we had stopped to get gas.

And then we came home.

We went 2487 miles in 13 days and hit ten different states! We didn't know what to expect on this trip. At best I was showing my son, my roots. I feel like we came away with so much more though. All of us seemed to have relaxed. All of us seem to want to go camping more often! We might not do such a long trip for a while, but weekends are definitely on the radar.

I cannot describe all the feelings that I experienced on this trip. Connecting with my past, meeting peers from high school, meeting family that I hadn't seen in twenty or more years, sharing time with my husband and son, it was just all so overwhelming, eye opening, and .... I just cannot find the words.

I have started making changes in a few things. I feel renewed energy. I feel more like I want to feel! Will it last? I don't know. I DO know though, that if it doesn't I am still better than I was.  Again, words elude me. 

So, um, now I am off to bed. I've been go-go-going for over a week now, since we got home. But damn, I feel GOOD! 

Till next time, walk-on!!!