Thursday, June 19, 2014

Fail … NOT

So ya, I have been ignoring you. I don't like to blog when I am not performing up to my own standards. I am still not back on track. My current downfall has been that I've been drinking too much. WTF is it with addictive personalities??? If it isn't food it is alcohol. If it isn't alcohol it is cigarettes. If it isn't cigarettes it is food. If it isn't alcohol it is shopping. What AM I searching for? What is lacking in my life? I have not figured it out just yet.
However, kudos to me for not giving up! I may not be doing as good as I should, could, would, want, hope, wish, to be doing, but I am not giving up. I would have given up long ago if I hadn't changed at least some part of my personality and life.

Believe it or not, my eating is still mostly clean and healthy. However, after a MONTH of having a bottle of wine a night, my tummy has expanded a full SEVEN inches!!!!!!
I know I have to cut this out and I am working on that. I am down to two bottles of wine over the weekend. I have NOT smoked at all this year, though I have come close. I am also still walking ten minutes per day. 
Now that summer is here, my 13 year old son and I will go out biking more. Our first outing was this week. We got to the trail and headed out. I noticed my tire was low. We stopped at a repair station, on the bike trail and tried to pump air into the tire. We ended up making the tire flatter than it was! I had no choice but to walk the 2.5 miles back to the van; and it was so hot and humid!!!
I've been practicing yoga for over three years now. It is the one exercise that I have kept up, out of all the exercises I've tried. For the past several months I have been substituting as a volunteer yoga teacher at our local senior center. Our regular teacher has been out with knee surgeries. I have found that I rather like teaching. I get a lot of kudos from my fellow practitioners. 
Perhaps, instead of fighting the thought of being recognized as "That woman who lost all that weight" and someone who knows all the answers for exercising and eating right, perhaps, I should embrace this newer version of me?

This in mind, I am toying with the idea of becoming a certified yoga instructor. The biggest thing that is holding me back is the expense. It costs about $3,000 for the classes and materials. It takes nine months to complete. I am tripping up over the expense of taking the classes. It isn't that I am not worth it. It is more that it is a hardship to afford that much money. I am not sure that this is a path I should take. The money is the negative part. We could carpet several rooms in the house. We could buy a new dishwasher. There are so many practical things we could do with that money. 
There are many positive aspects to becoming certified. I could be an advocate for heavier people and people in their senior years who think yoga isn't for them. I might even be able to get paid a little for my services. Of course having a bunch of people bowing down before me, has nothing to do with it!
That is the latest from this crazy house. I really am doing well, other than not working as hard as I should to figure out how to take off the weight I've gained. I am more happy than not. We've been playing music at the tavern and that makes me feel good. OH! I have also kept up with that Abs challenge and a squat challenge for June. NOT easy!!!! But I AM doing it. GO ME!!! hahahaha

Walk-on dear readers…it is the least we can do!

3 comments:

Crabby McSlacker said...

Good for you for keeping at it, even in the face of setbacks and frustrations!

And yeah, it's always so hard to figure out if the money for training is a good investment or not... sounds like something that really has you intrigued though! Would you have enough opportunities where you live to make that money back by teaching and more? Because if so, could be VERY cool!

Cynthia said...

So glad to see you back Sherri! I just had a feeling I should check in. Sorry you are still having a rough time. Going through these times and learning how to recover from them is going to be part of your new life. Not an easy or fun part, but the fact that you are having struggles in no way means you are slipping back into the old ways. The first time I had a major setback I was terrified that sliding back to 300+ pounds was inevitable. It wasn't. After seven long months (and 35 lbs gained) I grabbed the reins again and started calmly doing what I had proven I knew how to do. Now I'm smarter (I hope!), more humble (I recognize my vulnerabilities), and I know there are options other than defaulting to my prior unhealthy state. Try to be nice to yourself and remember that you're still learning to live this way and that there is no time limit. It sounds to me like you have gone a long way toward getting the drinking under control and giving up smoking for this entire year so far is amazing! And I think you would make a great yoga instructor if you can get the funds together, but remember that you are already helping others with your blog. I've found several of your suggestions very helpful as I have been trying to learn to "live this way", too. I wish you the best.

Sherri said...

Thanks for stopping by Crabby and Cynthia. I wish I could contact you directly Cynthia, because I wanted to be sure you knew how much I appreciated your comment! It gave me a lot of hope!

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