Who Is Walkerlady?

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I'm the 'Lazy Quilter' who doesn't always take the time to try to achieve perfection. I prefer to enjoy the process of creating instead of agonizing over being perfect. I am 'Walker Lady' who changed my lifestyle and lost over 70 pounds in the process! I wear the hats of a Quilter, Artist, Crafter, Musician, Life Coach, Wife, and Mom, all rolled up into one unique human bean!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Creepy!

I have seen it so many times. People who have a wonderful blog or podcast or group, share their successes on weight loss. It is impressive. It is motivational. It gives one hope that they too, can succeed!
Then the person disappears. On average, it seems like these people last about two years before vanishing. It is often weight creep that seems to do them in. It doesn't matter how they've lost weight. It doesn't matter if they've done a program or changed lifestyles. After about the second year into maintenance, they start giving up. I believe I am suffering a similar issue right now. My weight is creeping up.

I, however, refuse to accept that I might gain all my weight back! Not this time! I worked too hard to get where I am at today. What's a girl to do then? Well, goal setting is a start. I have set a goal of walking ten minutes a day for 365 days in a row. I am not sure I can do it, but I am going to see how close I can get! I also have a goal to be smoke free in 2014. I hope I can do both!

The weather has been up and down across the whole United States. Sometimes it is downright COLD here, and not comfortable to go out for a walk. I haven't let it stop me yet. I bundle up and do at least ten minutes and often a few more!

I am also looking way way back to what I was doing when I was feeling the most successful. That would have been in 2011. What was I doing differently then?

I am not too far off on the eating. I need to pump up the greens a bit and cut out the wine a lot. I also think it is time to get even more serious about finding a trainer to get me back in to strength training.


So where do I go from here? I go forward and don't look back!  What do I do now?
I set a new start date of February 1st. I made an appointment with a trainer. We meet up next week. I saw my doctor and got a cortisol shot in my knee. It hurts tonight, from the injection, but the osteoarthritis pain is gone. I hope this will allow me to hit the trails again.


I also asked the doctor about meds for my depression. I haven't had anything since September last year. I suffer from mild depression and anxiety. I find it hard to accept medication to help with the ups and downs of the mood swings. Lately, I've been in tough shape. I can hardly talk to anyone without tearing up. What has me so upset? I am homesick. I've been homesick for years and for now I can't go home. When depression sets in, I long to be back among our friends and family. I have neither here. I have tried, but it just isn't the same. So doc suggested a new med for me. Perhaps this is just the winter blues, perhaps it is just that I am one who suffers from depression. I must admit, I hope these pills help with the mood swings, the crying jags, the lethargy, the lack of sleep, and the feelings of hopelessness. I want to feel strong again.

So there you have it! It has not been easy to admit I am struggling like I am. On the other hand, it has comforted me in that I am NOT giving up! I WILL get this all figured out and I WILL get back on track and I WILL get back into one-derland. Yes, I WILL!

Till next time, walk on!



6 comments:

Sandy H said...

Thanks so much for your honesty! I also struggle at this time of year--I have SAD and although I'm doing better than usual this year thanks to my light box, I'm still in that mode. I know getting to the gym would help the SAD, but the SAD makes me not want to bother going to the gym. So it's a constant cycle and SAD usually wins. Reading this blog post, though, reminds me once again how important it is for me to continue in my good habits even when my motivation is flagging. I was just saying to DH last night that I feel like I'm regaining weight I've lost over the last year; I don't know that I really am but just feeling like that is a problem! Here's to pulling my butt back off the couch... Thanks again--we'll cheer each other on.

Sherri D said...

Thank YOU Sandy, for your comment. This was one of the hardest posts to make! I always struggle in February, when SAD is in full bloom. My depression and anxiety is always 'there' but worsens this time of year. I must put it out of my mind because it didn't dawn on me, until someone asked if I had SAD, that it was "that time of the year again" and that my issues might be needing help.

This time it has been different because of all the work I've done over the past three years to lose all this weight. NOW I can give myself permission to just do what I can do, day by day. It might be as simple as eating a salad along side a pile of spaghetti. (True, I probably shouldn't have a PILE of spaghetti, but I also SHOULD have the salad) If all I can do on that day is have a normal portion of spaghetti and a good salad, it is more than what I would have done in the past.

Fake it until you make it! Only it really isn't faking it when you are doing what you can do to stay on track...even if only a little bit during these iffy times.

We can also make up dozens of excuses! This winter has been the wackiest winter!!! Politics are horrible right now. The rich get richer. My dog ate my homework. :D

Again, thank you Sandy. Your post helps me believe in myself more! And yes, we will keep cheering each other on!

Crabby McSlacker said...

That's great that you're tackling this with a "I won't give up" attitude!

Hope the weather and your knees cooperate--I think walking lots is HUGE, and at least for me, the first ten minutes are when cold weather feels worst, so hopefully you can build on that and enjoy longer and more pleasant walks. Walking outdoors is so good for both physical and mental health!

Cynthia said...

Hi Sherri,
So sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. It is very difficult to hit a goal by means of tremendous effort, then realize that you will probably have to sustain that effort every day for the rest of your life or risk losing all you achieved. Worse yet, when the methods you’ve been successful with are no longer adequate or seem somehow beyond your reach and you realize you will have to intensify your already intense efforts or change them to adapt to new realities, it can be crushing. After I lost weight, I began reading long-term maintainer’s blogs (there aren’t very many out there, for obvious reasons). I noticed that many of them have a very subdued tone, with some bordering on dark. True, there are a few bloggers who write about bopping out the door every morning in their new, thin body and enjoying life – but there are many more who write about the grim, tiring task of just making it through another day without giving in to overeating. They write about redoubling their efforts and avoiding triggers and coping mechanisms, years after the uninitiated would think they would be living a happy, life as a “normal” person. It is sobering to know that for many maintainers, being focused or even preoccupied with maintaining their weight, is simply how they have to live. I have struggled with this myself. I am new to maintaining, having kept my weight off for only two years now. I still fear that I will wake up tomorrow and the “switch” will be off. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel out of the woods. If these successful maintainers are any indication, I probably won’t. When I’m struggling I tell myself that it is not as simple as fat=unhappy and thin=happy. It’s more like both ways of life have large chunks of unhappiness and I just have to choose which kind of unhappy I want to be. For now, I have chosen to keep trying for this kind, which is more like a neutral lack of happiness than a real unhappiness, if you know what I mean. It’s sort of a resigned calmness. It sounds horrible and bleak when I write it down, but for me, this resigned calmness is much better than the frenzied, out-of-control insanity (and I don’t use that term lightly) that overeating brings me. I don’t want to be such a downer, so I’ll end with my congratulations for refocusing, redoing the blog and all the steps you’ve taken to take care of yourself. When you are depressed, these are not small things. I think this kind of continual refocusing has been perhaps the most important element in my daily coping. I sincerely wish you the best and want you to know I’m pulling for you.

Sherri D said...

Thanks Crabby and Cynthia, for your comments. I worried about sharing "the dark side" of my weight loss venture. I don't mean to sound like a downer, I am just sharing what is going on, in my head. I remain quite optimistic that this will all work out. See my next post for some talk about that. I am searching for my "happy weight" now.
And Cynthia, if you see this, try listening to the podcasts at "Half-Size Me". She interviews a LOT of maintainers and that has become very inspirational to me!

Cynthia said...

Thanks for the tip. I have my headphones on practically all day and will check out the podcast.
p.s. glad you're feeling better!