Who Knew?

I knew...but I tried to pretend I didn't. I knew that I needed to follow along with 'the plan' and needed to keep going through the motions.

I did not feel like getting up and going for a walk. But I did it anyway.

I did not feel like getting up and going to Yoga class. But I did it anyway.

I did not feel like tracking my foods for the day. But I did it anyway.

I did not feel like going shopping. But I did it anyway.

Hey, wait a minute...did she say shopping?

Yes, I did say shopping. For the longest time, especially after Yoga classes, I would stop and shop for hours at this store called Savers. It is somewhat like a thrift store...on steroids! I have spent a lot of money there as I shrunk out of my clothes and needed new ones. I discovered the thrill of the hunt for those clothes that would fit the new me! I also think I was a little obsessive with all these excuses to GO shopping! I mean, heck, it was a BARGAIN!

Mimosa tree in bloom on the trail

Back to how things are going now. I think that the crazy month we had in April, and having quit smoking led me to a little bout with depression. Especially when things slowed down again and there was this void in my life all of a sudden. I knew it for sure when I caught myself saying, "I should sell off all this fabric and shut down my studio." That is a classic sign of depression for me. You don't feel like doing anything that you used to enjoy. I only have a mild form of depression that responds well to the meds I have. I wish having any type of mental illness didn't have such a stigma with it! Because of that, I foolishly will stop taking my meds, just to prove to myself that I don't need them. I have done this twice now and guess what? Not only was it a dumb thing to do, but I had also done it in the month of April too! No wonder I was such a mess.

Regarding depression, I wasn't suicidal or anything. I realized that I had been suffering with it for years and years. I am on a super low dose of an older tried and true medication that works great for me. It isn't easy to admit. That stigma remains, even with me now, somehow you're less of a person if you have a mental illness. Even though I really know better.

So overall for the last week in April and this first week or so of May, I ended up gaining somewhere between four and six pounds. However, I still have kept off over one hundred pounds. I don't want to forget about having lost that weight. I kept going through the motions of eating right and exercising through this rough patch. I may not have been as enthusiastic about exercising but I did it anyway.

Mimosa Blooms

Today was not an official weigh-in day. However, I do often weigh myself on Thursdays. I was down three pounds from last Thursday. Yippee! Yes, I still DO like seeing the scale move. I know, I know, I should find a better way to validate my successes with fat losing. I'm working on it! I mean, I almost had myself convinced that if I stayed the weight I've been over the past two or three weeks, that I would be ok with that. Ya, SURE I would!

Anyway, I am back on my meds, I still am not smoking, I am still (as I have been all throughout this latest challenge) well within my food plan and exercise regime. Now my patience has paid off. The scale stopped going up and might even have gone down again. That would be very nice, of course! I honestly can't imagine that it won't keep going down. All the research I've done on what I should weigh, eating the amount of calories I do eat, and exercising the way I do exercise, says I should end up somewhere between 175-150. We shall see. Yes we shall.

I hope you are not bored with the photos from the trail walking. This week cooled down a bit and I have really enjoyed my walks even more! It has helped to lift my spirits back up and I really feel a lot better. I know my mojo is coming back because yesterday my nephew and I spent over two hours digging up the front yard! He dug the hole for the tree and helped me out as we both dug up the dirt, moved rocks, and laid down mulch. My flower bed has now doubled in size!
That lacy Japanese maple tree is my early Mother's Day present. My sore muscles are my present to myself! I earned every one of them.

Tomorrow I will be walking to a Yoga class. Talk about multitasking! So, I am doing better, why don't YOU come for a walk with me tomorrow? You'll feel better if you do!