It is NOT MY Fault!!!

If you've suffered with being overweight, especially if you are or have been obese, you've most likely been the target of unflattering comments.

I was lucky. I was overweight as a child. I do not recall having classmates chastise me for being fat. I don't recall being teased or having mean jokes played on me. I know this is not true for everyone.

My earliest recollections of being overweight come from my parents. They always meant well and were only trying to help, but they made it clear that I was going to be a failure at everything in life because I was fat. I wouldn't be able to get a job. I would not be able to get a boyfriend. I did not look pleasing. I would be a failure. Again, I add, that they meant well and did not mean for things to turn out the way they did.

The first time I remember knowing that there was something 'wrong' with me was when Mom and I were looking through the catalog for clothes for the upcoming school year. She made some comment about having to look at the "chubby" sized clothing and how it was so hard to find anything in my size. Being chubby in the 60's was NOT a good thing!

In later years, I did not have boyfriends while in school. I had a best friend that was a boy and we shared a love of horses, but we never dated. It was more like a brother sister relationship.

My sister was four years younger than I was and skinny. She even was a model for a short time. She was the little miss goodie-two-shoes of the family.

It seemed like she could never do wrong. I also had a baby sister that was eight years younger than me. She and I conspired against the middle sister at times. It always seemed like my baby sister and I were the ones who got trouble though. That middle sister was just too perfect!

Now my middle sister is a good friend of mine. She's always been a healthy weight. My baby sister passed away at age 48 from many health complications and obesity contributed to that. Both my parents are gone too. Mom always battled the bulge, but it is funny, I never thought of her as being fat! Even looking back on old photos, I cannot see where she thought she was so big. Dad was overweight, but had other issues that contributed to some of that. Really though, I never thought of my folks as being fat too. I did feel, and still feel, loved by them both even though they have been gone for over ten years. I had a good childhood.

So why am I sharing all this with you? Well, mostly because we all have our 'skeletons' in our closets. Sometimes we use them as an excuse to not lose weight! I could blame my obesity on my parents, saying that "they made me that way." I don't though. Not now. I did though. A long time ago.
This battle of the bulge that we face has many different reasons of why it exists in our lives. We can blame others for making us this way. OR we can recognize where the problems started and move on. So what if we have someone or something we can blame for the fat issues? The thing that matters is the here and now. We can only blame ourselves for continuing to be overweight.

Part of the reason that I think I am having more success than ever before is because I am happier in my life than I ever have been. I seem to be handling crisis' better. I don't eat to calm myself or comfort myself like I used to. The bigger reason is the work I have done on educating myself. Still, if I hadn't addressed the emotional issues, I would have found a way to sabotage myself again.

It will be one and a half years in May, since I started changing my life around. I still have occasional slip ups. I still have bouts of the blues. I still struggle for a couple weeks smoking before quitting yet again for months, usually. BUT...I still am eating healthier than I ever have. I still am more confident than I have ever been in my life. I still not only keep exercising, but I find ways to enjoy exercising! You cannot realize just how odd it seems, to enjoy exercise! What a concept.

No matter what your skeletons are in your closets, why not find a way to bag 'em up and toss them in the garbage? Get therapy if you need it. Get medications if you need to. Do the step of getting the help that you need to do, (IF you do) in order to keep moving forward and learning what it is like to live like the thinner person, the healthier person, you CAN be!TIPS AND TRICKS:
I asked someone in class today, what were they having for supper? They didn't know for sure. In order to be more successful, you really NEED to plan ahead! If you have trouble doing this, then at least plan ahead to always have something healthy to eat in your pantry or fridge. It is better to eat an extra piece of fruit than it is to eat an over processed granola bar. Remember, if you can pull it from the ground, pluck it from a tree, or shoot it, it isn't processed food. Think of processed foods as pre-digested foods that go through your system so fast, you do not get the same benefits from it that you would from foods that are not processed. Look for less than five ingredients and be smart! I treat it like a game between me and the manufacturers. I know they are mixing the salt, sugar, and fat in their product to make it taste oh so good! Don't fall for their lure! Eat smart!THIS AND THAT:
Currently I have 28 weeks to lose 16 pounds to be at a goal weight of 175 pounds. I have 1.2 pounds to lose to mark 100 pounds gone! I happen to be fighting those damn cigarettes again. Grrrrrrr! I am eating pretty good though and exercising is pretty much getting to be second nature. I am really having fun with all this! Everything is so easy for me right now!

I hope your springing into Spring with a light and happy heart! Take care of your bodies. We only have one to mess with! (and YES this means me too! I will be quitting again on the stupid smokes!)

QUOTE FOR TODAY:
Eleanor Roosevelt: No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.